Tuesday, January 18, 2011

'choke on this

if there is one thing that maybe makes me believe in witchcraft and evil spells, it's artichokes.
how can something so incredibly tasty have such disgustingly unappealing qualities? (only by the fate of a witch's evil spell - obvs).
i'll skip over the mountain of refuse that each little 'choke produces and move right along to the most frighteningly vile feature of the artichoke, the heart.

artichoke heart is the 'sweet spot' of the bristly thistle, right at the base/stem... where the elements of subtle flavour and yielding texture converge to form the most perfect experience you can get from a plant-based food. 
unfortunately, the 'choke heart wears a chastity belt of ickitating fur along its inside-making its consumption quite arduous. perhaps this fuzzy, frustration-inducer has some kind of important biological function, but i'm sticking with my own theories (read: sorcery).
maybe you don't think hair is that gross. but i bet even those of you who adore your cat 'bob' more than anything in the world, and he's your number one mate forever and ever, would shudder at the thought of sticking your tongue out and licking his furry back. gag.

i've yet to figure out a sure-fire way to get all the hairs out without touching them....but you can avoid ingestion of the bothersome bristle (ok, fine, no more alliteration) by running a paring knife around the hairline in a conical sort of shape and popping the hairy section out in one piece.

i love artichokes best when simply boiled for a few minutes. but you can add lemon and salt if ya want!

to eat:
run your bottom teeth along the underside of each leaf.
the soft stuff is for you, the other stuff is for the green bin.

heart of darkness.

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